Happy Birthday Princess!!!

Assalamualaikum..
Today's date is 25th December 2015 and 11.00 p.m.

Guess what?!?!
Today is Kakak's birthday!!
Happy Birthday sweetie!!
Miss you a lot~
Wake up soon..
Sorry for the late wish.
Kakak,today I just got my result for my class in 2015.
I'm being placed on the first class!
Yeay!! trust me,I was jumping like a little girl in your room.
Wish we can celebrate it together.
So,that's all!!
And don't forget that I love you to the moon and back.
Love you *kisses*

Sometimes~

Sometimes there are moments when I feel like I want to give up.
I don't want to continue this but I said to myself "I'm not alone,my family,friends we are facing it together"
Don't ask me how many times I cried myself to sleep.
Sometimes I want to go to somewhere alone and scream out all of my worries.
Mom and Dad are getting older.
I wish they will be here,beside me when I'm married and having my own family.
I can't imagine my life without them.
They're so precious to me.
I want to be their little baby forever.
I'm sorry if sometimes I feel mad at you.
I'm just going through my puberty.
You know what?
I regret that I didn't spend more times with Kakak.
If I knew this gonna happen.
I'm gonna treasure every second of my times with her.
Only God knows how much I miss her.
She's my sister.
No one can take her away from me.
I wish I had someone who spend their times for me.
Because I want to let out everything.
I want to cry as much as I want.
I want to scream as much as I want.
Sometimes,
Life is a nightmare,,,

Night Blogging..

So,Assalamualaikum...
It's 9.18 p.m now.
I just got my final exam result yesterday.
Alhamdullillah, I got 56/215 in my batch.
My mom said it was good enough.
But,I have a feeling that my grade are going down day by day.
Maybe because I spend lot of time on phone and K-POP.
Let me be honest,I'm really really bad with Arabic.
I just don't have 'that' feeling with Arabic.
Today is a bittersweet day for me.
And I'm chatting with my old friends.
Oh god,I miss them so much.
Miss the moments we made before.
Love our stupid jokes.
They're always there by my side.
They lend their shoulders for me to cry on.
I'm not saying that my new friend aren't good enough, it just they have different feels.
I'm gonna stand proud one day and InshaAllah with the name Dr. Saidatul.
Aminn

I'm gonna change!

I'm gonna change myself.

You know what I've  being called as FAT many times.

And I'm sick of it!Yeah you're right I don't have the 20 inch waist,34kg weight,thigh gap or whatever.

I'm gonna have it soon.

I wanted to show to you guys that I can change.

It doesn't matter if I starve myself.

Call me fat,call me ugly or call me desperate.

But listen,don't think I change because of you.

I'm changing myself because of myself.

Yes! I'm embrassed at myself

.For this time I'm gonna keep in my mind 'No One Can Stop Me' 

I don't care if it takes 10 years.I'm going to be the second Kakak! I'm trying to make people happy like she made people happy.

I'm trying to be as successful as she is.

But,no one ever notices my hard works.

I know nobody can replace her.

Can't you see I'm hurting here when they say she cared about them?

 I cared for you too!! 

What am I? A potato?? 

People gonna be mad at me if they read this.

They will say that I'm jealous of Kakak or I'm desperate.

Say what you what.

But,I'm still gonna change.

Take note

How could you..

Some people did not know how much that things meant for me.

I spent lot of money for it.

It's my favourite items.

Art things.

People just thought that a pencil is nothing and so cheap.

For me it's expensive

.I spent my time with it.I spent my time arranging it by it colours.

I sharpen it every week.

My canvas,my sketchbook,watercolours..

They mean so much to me.

More worse that all the present I got are damaged.

I think you know the feeling when something you took care of with all of your heart,and someone damaged it.

I'm so disappointed.

The good impression of you just disappear.

No more good impression.

Can you just take of my things.

It's not even a huge things.Just...please.. 

My money just disappear like that.

The things that I don't wanna use yet.

But you just let other people use it.

And please stop stealing my things!!

 Stop using my phone like it is your phone.

If I can,I want to do all the things you did to me to you.

But,I held myself.I'm not that level YET.

It just,please do your job.

I'm really disappointed in you.

People Never Asked Me Why..

People never ask me why at first.
They just get mad on me.
Even if I'm in pain,
They never asked me why.
Mistakes is not a sin.
But to them,my mistake is the biggest sin.
They never asked me why.
It is not first time feeling like I want to die.
They never asked me why.
I just wanna go out of this cruel world.
They never asked me why.
I cried,I got mad, I laugh
They never asked me why.
Maybe,when I die,
They will not ask why.
It just They Never Ask Why..

-Saidatul Anis-

Dear god,please hear me out.

Ya Allah,sesungguhnya kau yang Maha Pendengar lagi Maha Pengasih.
Ya Allah,aku amat merindui kakakku Ya Allah.
Makbulkanlah doa ku ini Ya Allah.
Aku tahu aku adalah insan yamg tidak sempurna dari segi akhlak dan iman.
Aku mempunyai banyak kelemahan.Aku merindui saat-saat aku bersama dia Ya Allah.
Hanya Allah seorang yang mampu memahami diriku sekarang.
Jika tidak keberatan aku hanya mahu meminta Engkau kembalikan kakakku seperti dahulu.Aku tidak sanggup menahan perasaan rindu dan kesedihanku.
Kau kasihanilah kedua ibu-bapaku.
Mereka tidak bersalah Ya Allah.
Janganlah kau hadirkan perasaan kecewa dan sedih kepada mereka berdua.
Ya Allah beratnya ujianmu..Aku mengharungi ujian ini dengan air mata.
Ya Allah jika kakakku pergi dahulu sebelumku,Engkau tempatkan dia ditempat orang yang beriman.
Jika Engkau ingin kembalikannya ke pangkuan keluargaku,Aku sedia menerima.
Aku hanya seorang adik yang merindui kakakkanya.Kau ampunkanlah dosa-dosanya.Amin..

Kakak,
Kak,Anis ni..
Kakak nak bangun bila kak?
Anis rindu kakak.
Anis dah masuk sekolah menengah kak..
Kakak janji nak bagi hadiah dekat Anis kalu Anis dapat 5A.
Tapi kalau kakak bangun,Anis anggap tu adalah hadiah yang kakak bagi kat Anis.
Kakak,doakan Anis eh? Anis nak ikut jejak kakak.Anis nak buat semua orang bahagia.
Kakak,bimbinglah Anis.
Kakak,I will wait for you even if it takes 4 years or more.I always be with you.
I miss you so much.
Kakak,I LOVE YOU.I will always love you.
You are the best!
Nanti kalau kakak masuk syurga..
Kakak jemput Anis eh.Insyaallah..
Kenapa Anis nangis...
Anis.. tak sanggup tengok kakak macam ni...Kakak tak deserve semua ni.
Maybe Allah ada nak bagi nikmat sebalik semua ni kan.??
Kakak,stay strong!
Fight for us!