I'm gonna change!

I'm gonna change myself.

You know what I've  being called as FAT many times.

And I'm sick of it!Yeah you're right I don't have the 20 inch waist,34kg weight,thigh gap or whatever.

I'm gonna have it soon.

I wanted to show to you guys that I can change.

It doesn't matter if I starve myself.

Call me fat,call me ugly or call me desperate.

But listen,don't think I change because of you.

I'm changing myself because of myself.

Yes! I'm embrassed at myself

.For this time I'm gonna keep in my mind 'No One Can Stop Me' 

I don't care if it takes 10 years.I'm going to be the second Kakak! I'm trying to make people happy like she made people happy.

I'm trying to be as successful as she is.

But,no one ever notices my hard works.

I know nobody can replace her.

Can't you see I'm hurting here when they say she cared about them?

 I cared for you too!! 

What am I? A potato?? 

People gonna be mad at me if they read this.

They will say that I'm jealous of Kakak or I'm desperate.

Say what you what.

But,I'm still gonna change.

Take note

How could you..

Some people did not know how much that things meant for me.

I spent lot of money for it.

It's my favourite items.

Art things.

People just thought that a pencil is nothing and so cheap.

For me it's expensive

.I spent my time with it.I spent my time arranging it by it colours.

I sharpen it every week.

My canvas,my sketchbook,watercolours..

They mean so much to me.

More worse that all the present I got are damaged.

I think you know the feeling when something you took care of with all of your heart,and someone damaged it.

I'm so disappointed.

The good impression of you just disappear.

No more good impression.

Can you just take of my things.

It's not even a huge things.Just...please.. 

My money just disappear like that.

The things that I don't wanna use yet.

But you just let other people use it.

And please stop stealing my things!!

 Stop using my phone like it is your phone.

If I can,I want to do all the things you did to me to you.

But,I held myself.I'm not that level YET.

It just,please do your job.

I'm really disappointed in you.