I'm gonna change!

I'm gonna change myself.

You know what I've  being called as FAT many times.

And I'm sick of it!Yeah you're right I don't have the 20 inch waist,34kg weight,thigh gap or whatever.

I'm gonna have it soon.

I wanted to show to you guys that I can change.

It doesn't matter if I starve myself.

Call me fat,call me ugly or call me desperate.

But listen,don't think I change because of you.

I'm changing myself because of myself.

Yes! I'm embrassed at myself

.For this time I'm gonna keep in my mind 'No One Can Stop Me' 

I don't care if it takes 10 years.I'm going to be the second Kakak! I'm trying to make people happy like she made people happy.

I'm trying to be as successful as she is.

But,no one ever notices my hard works.

I know nobody can replace her.

Can't you see I'm hurting here when they say she cared about them?

 I cared for you too!! 

What am I? A potato?? 

People gonna be mad at me if they read this.

They will say that I'm jealous of Kakak or I'm desperate.

Say what you what.

But,I'm still gonna change.

Take note

How could you..

Some people did not know how much that things meant for me.

I spent lot of money for it.

It's my favourite items.

Art things.

People just thought that a pencil is nothing and so cheap.

For me it's expensive

.I spent my time with it.I spent my time arranging it by it colours.

I sharpen it every week.

My canvas,my sketchbook,watercolours..

They mean so much to me.

More worse that all the present I got are damaged.

I think you know the feeling when something you took care of with all of your heart,and someone damaged it.

I'm so disappointed.

The good impression of you just disappear.

No more good impression.

Can you just take of my things.

It's not even a huge things.Just...please.. 

My money just disappear like that.

The things that I don't wanna use yet.

But you just let other people use it.

And please stop stealing my things!!

 Stop using my phone like it is your phone.

If I can,I want to do all the things you did to me to you.

But,I held myself.I'm not that level YET.

It just,please do your job.

I'm really disappointed in you.

People Never Asked Me Why..

People never ask me why at first.
They just get mad on me.
Even if I'm in pain,
They never asked me why.
Mistakes is not a sin.
But to them,my mistake is the biggest sin.
They never asked me why.
It is not first time feeling like I want to die.
They never asked me why.
I just wanna go out of this cruel world.
They never asked me why.
I cried,I got mad, I laugh
They never asked me why.
Maybe,when I die,
They will not ask why.
It just They Never Ask Why..

-Saidatul Anis-

Dear god,please hear me out.

Ya Allah,sesungguhnya kau yang Maha Pendengar lagi Maha Pengasih.
Ya Allah,aku amat merindui kakakku Ya Allah.
Makbulkanlah doa ku ini Ya Allah.
Aku tahu aku adalah insan yamg tidak sempurna dari segi akhlak dan iman.
Aku mempunyai banyak kelemahan.Aku merindui saat-saat aku bersama dia Ya Allah.
Hanya Allah seorang yang mampu memahami diriku sekarang.
Jika tidak keberatan aku hanya mahu meminta Engkau kembalikan kakakku seperti dahulu.Aku tidak sanggup menahan perasaan rindu dan kesedihanku.
Kau kasihanilah kedua ibu-bapaku.
Mereka tidak bersalah Ya Allah.
Janganlah kau hadirkan perasaan kecewa dan sedih kepada mereka berdua.
Ya Allah beratnya ujianmu..Aku mengharungi ujian ini dengan air mata.
Ya Allah jika kakakku pergi dahulu sebelumku,Engkau tempatkan dia ditempat orang yang beriman.
Jika Engkau ingin kembalikannya ke pangkuan keluargaku,Aku sedia menerima.
Aku hanya seorang adik yang merindui kakakkanya.Kau ampunkanlah dosa-dosanya.Amin..

Kakak,
Kak,Anis ni..
Kakak nak bangun bila kak?
Anis rindu kakak.
Anis dah masuk sekolah menengah kak..
Kakak janji nak bagi hadiah dekat Anis kalu Anis dapat 5A.
Tapi kalau kakak bangun,Anis anggap tu adalah hadiah yang kakak bagi kat Anis.
Kakak,doakan Anis eh? Anis nak ikut jejak kakak.Anis nak buat semua orang bahagia.
Kakak,bimbinglah Anis.
Kakak,I will wait for you even if it takes 4 years or more.I always be with you.
I miss you so much.
Kakak,I LOVE YOU.I will always love you.
You are the best!
Nanti kalau kakak masuk syurga..
Kakak jemput Anis eh.Insyaallah..
Kenapa Anis nangis...
Anis.. tak sanggup tengok kakak macam ni...Kakak tak deserve semua ni.
Maybe Allah ada nak bagi nikmat sebalik semua ni kan.??
Kakak,stay strong!
Fight for us!

Hate..

Why does I feel like everyone hate me.Am I not good enough??Am I a bad daughter??..Seems like so..I choose to be like this.This all my fault..

Friends? NO! Best Friends. ^_^

My Best Friends.

They are the second person who I love very much beside my family.

Without them I will be another person.

If I need to choose either gold or my best friends.

I choose my best friends.

This year is the last year I with them.

If I can I want to spend my whole life with them.

Next year,there's no more laughing,crying,screaming sound of my friends.

Even we are far away,but our hearts are still near.

Irah,

Out of my best friends,she's the one who I really close.

Although sometimes you hurt me.

You're still my best friend.

The letter you gave to me is really touching.

I put it in a frame.

You are the first person who gave me a letter of friendship.

Tasha,

The talkative best friend.

You are nice person.

I never win against you when we fighting.

I respect you.

Although you're smaller than me and the others,but for me we all the same.

You are so cute.

I wish a have a sister like you.

You also the oldest one.

But to me,you are like the youngest one.

Yaya,

The milky skin bestfriend.

You are so beautiful.

I envious of you.

You are an easygoing person.

We have the same interest.

You are athletic outside and soft inside.

You are like a model.

Tall,slim and beautiful.

You always comfort me.

Wani,

The shy bestfriend,

You rarely talk with the other friends.

But when we 5 together,You talk a lot.

You are so caring and lovely.

You always nag about the guys in our classroom.

Although some time we are awkward.

You are my best friend.

We love to get mad right?

That are my bestfriend.

 For me"Different cake,different taste but still called a cake 

That's means different best friends,different personalities but still called best friends.                                                  

Thanks for understanding my current situasion.

I have hurt your hearts many times right?

Sorry.

That's all can I say.

If you want, I can kneel in front you guys.

I have many things to say but I can't write it in words.

I hope with this confession of mine you guys know

that I LOVE YOU ever and after.Till our death.

Do you cry?I don't think so.

You gulls are strong girls.

I wish you the best for the UPSR result.

I'm hope we all will get 5A.

5 friends towards 1 dreams.

That's us.

And this is for you.

When we first talked to each other.
I knew we would be friends.
Our friendship kept on growing.
And I'll be here for you to the end.
You listen when I have a problem.
And help dry the tears from my face.
You take away my sorrow and put happiness in its place.
We can't forget the fun we've had.
Laughing 'til our faces turn blue.
Talking of things we find funny.
People think we're insane.
I guess this is my way of saying thanks for catching me when i fall.
Thanks once again for being a such good friends.

 

N3

He is the first boy who makes my heart flutters.
But,Until now I don't know my feeling.
Do I like him?
But,I hate him sometimes.
I feel something weird in my heart when he with another girl.
He has a girlfriend I think.
He just don't want to say it.
He is very popular in my school.
Now,I just need to forget him and focus to the exams.
It is just around the corner,
I need to work hard.
Only 2 weeks to go.
Dear God,please help me..
Help me to forget him and help me to study.
This is when I need to put Luhan ,Gongchan and other k-pop thing aside.
Right now I need to focus.
I will work hard.
 "I got 5'a's!"I wish I can say that.
Insyaallah..
Allah maha berkuasa.
Aminnnn..